


Just A Man

by thealphagate_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-01-30
Updated: 2007-01-30
Packaged: 2019-02-02 02:14:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12717639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealphagate_archivist/pseuds/thealphagate_archivist
Summary: Jack and Daniel reflect on their friendship, such as it is.





	Just A Man

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the archivists: this story was originally archived at [The Alpha Gate](https://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Alpha_Gate), a Stargate SG-1 archive, which began migration to the AO3 in 2017 when its hosting software, eFiction, was no longer receiving support. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are this creator and it hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Alpha Gate collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/thealphagate).

  
Author's notes: SSD challenge response. Thanks to Shazz!! My amazing beta! Hugs, hon!  


* * *

Daniel's POV:

A lot of folks think that I'm tough.

But that isn't true.

People assume that I've grown adept at playing soldier because they see me fight the Goa'uld.

They're wrong.

I don't know what Jack thinks. Not any more. I used to...

Once upon a time he thought I was a geek. Told me so, too, in no uncertain terms!

Back then, during that first mission, I earned his respect. It took me dying to do it though!

Then, when I came back after I lost...well, you know. When I came back he took me in. Like a lost puppy. Jack gave me a kind of security and friendship that I'd never experienced before. 

He was a force back then. A metaphorical blanket I allowed myself to be wrapped in. 

I was naïve and stupid.

I may be a genius, have degrees and speak many languages, but when it comes to common sense, I'm an idiot!

Jack used to think it was funny when he had to remind me that eating was a necessity and then drag me off to lunch with him.

Now? Now, I eat alone.

I let years of carefully built walls crumble, trusting what we had to protect me instead.

As I said, naïve and stupid.

I don't know what I did, but Jack just stopped. All of a sudden, that force was gone and the friendship we'd worked so hard to build crumbled as sure as the walls.

I miss him.

I miss his smile.

Oh God, I miss him so much it hurts.

But I don't let it show, of course. I can't let it show. I have to be tough. I need to have people believe that I am. As hard as rock.

I'm not though.

I'm not a stone; I'm just a man.

I'm just me. Lonely and alone...

~8~8~

Jack's POV:

It never ceases to amaze me how many people think that Daniel is such a tough guy. They actually assume that he's a soldier because he's on the front line, on SG-1.

They are so wrong.

I don't think this. I know that it's a façade Daniel maintains to make his life .... easier. I'm not sure whether he realises that I know, not now anyway. 

I've kind of made sure of that.

When we first met...oh man, it seams such a long time ago!   
My first impression of Daniel? Geeky scientist and I had a major problem with scientists!

He grew on me, though, even died for me for crying out loud! Daniel earned my respect after that little stunt! Although if he tries it again I'm gonna' kill him myself.

So when he came back to Earth after losing Sha're, it was the most natural thing in the world to take him home with me and feed him.

The kid had lost everything. Everything! What should I have done?

The friendship came easily. Daniel wasn't, and I suppose still isn't, a very tactile person, but he craved any contact from me.

Of course I obliged. 

I accommodated this need and slowly but surely broke down those walls he'd built around himself, and he let me.

He trusted me.

He trusted me and I let him down.

I'm not sure when, but somewhere along the road I started having feelings for him, feelings that scared the crap out of me. Feelings that were more than friendship.

I didn't understand, couldn't understand the turmoil going on inside my head, and I blamed him. I took the cowards way out and blamed Daniel and I stopped being his friend.

I hurt him.

For a long time he tried, so very hard, to fix the problem between us, not even knowing what it was. I mean, how could he have known? He didn't even cause it so that makes it tough to fix. Eventually, after months of my constant jibes and rejection, he just gave up.

A part of me died then. 

I broke his heart.

Daniel doesn't let anyone see, least of all me, that inside he's hurting and lonely, but I do. I see what I've done. 

I've got to rip back the time that I've wasted.

I've got to make it right.

I owe him that much. Especially since I love him.


End file.
